I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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