Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize