So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize