I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize