I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize