yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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