He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize