I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize