nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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