ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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