Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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