fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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