Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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  (406): I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea. http://tfl.nu/bq8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1436) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just found a frying pan...in my bed.

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  (410): I just found a frying pan...in my bed. http://tfl.nu/4wiq
  Replies (8) Good night (1236) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.

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  (513): Shitting during a conference call is so empowering. http://tfl.nu/es82
  Replies (12) Good night (2919) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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  (209): i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you http://tfl.nu/qjob
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (3596) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.

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  (201): I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside. http://tfl.nu/y1e3
  Replies (8) Good night (4737) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times

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  (706): He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times http://tfl.nu/wnel
  Replies (12) Good night (8527) Bad night (1447)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper

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  (516): my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper http://tfl.nu/iwmr
  Replies (12) Good night (3783) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.

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  (780): She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever. http://tfl.nu/i189
  Replies (61) Good night (1615) Bad night (10907) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...

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  (256): The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving... http://tfl.nu/0z2j
  Replies (17) Good night (1511) Bad night (1571)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.

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  (330): I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in. http://tfl.nu/a5v5
  Replies (9) Good night (2122) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

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  (781): Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours. http://tfl.nu/9pdv
  Replies (11) Good night (1751) Bad night (1143)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably take note of that and make it happen.

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  (267): In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards. (267): You should probably take note of that and make it happen. http://tfl.nu/k5f3
  Replies (22) Good night (2587) Bad night (549)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.

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  (651): somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex. http://tfl.nu/wfkq
  Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.

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  (917): She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl. http://tfl.nu/btqg
  Replies (1) Good night (1194) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

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  (202): Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next http://tfl.nu/dw8t
  Replies (4) Good night (335) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt

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