I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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