My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
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She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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