dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize