Quick, to the slutcave!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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