y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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