The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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