The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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