He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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