anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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