Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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