I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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