8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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