those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
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He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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