Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize