ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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