So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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