The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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