part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
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I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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