kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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