Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
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may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
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I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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