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just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Randomize
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