Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I knew I fell for you for a reason

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  (570): just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on (908): I knew I fell for you for a reason http://tfl.nu/lpgl
  Replies (17) Good night (3340) Bad night (978)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

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  (516): I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates. http://tfl.nu/jgwf
  Replies (89) Good night (5708) Bad night (1383) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks

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  (912): an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks http://tfl.nu/5yhs
  Replies (25) Good night (6134) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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  (310): and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity http://tfl.nu/4zrt
  Replies (44) Good night (15257) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.

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  (603): I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again. http://tfl.nu/0sqv
  Replies (23) Good night (1406) Bad night (4674)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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  (816): I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are http://tfl.nu/18r6
  Replies (4) Good night (1042) Bad night (1582) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again

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  (678): Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again http://tfl.nu/8daz
  Replies (14) Good night (2745) Bad night (1819) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong

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  (409): I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong http://tfl.nu/rbr5
  Replies (5) Good night (2899) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...

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  (480): you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future... http://tfl.nu/18be
  Replies (5) Good night (1601) Bad night (1075)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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  (479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85
  Replies (2) Good night (786) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before

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  (856): Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before http://tfl.nu/gngt
  Replies (5) Good night (605) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4094) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2127) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull

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  (651): Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull http://tfl.nu/fvhw
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (988)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.

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  (574): It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers. http://tfl.nu/dqn1
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt

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