I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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