Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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