Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
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She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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