I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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