so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
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Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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