His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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