People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And then he peed in my hair
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