So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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