I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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