either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
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A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize