Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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