This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
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I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
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I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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