You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize