Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize