I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize