i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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